Ups and downs

MAMAW:
Mamaw has chosen to try chemo. She had her first round Thursday. She will recieve a round every three weeks. We have been told the side effects will not show themselves until a few days after the treatment. She is still unable to eat anything and is recieving all her nutrition IV. We believe she will be able to come home soon, but has an infection we just found out about and we are unsure if this is going to affect her being able to come home, because she needs antibiotics. We hope she will be able to come home at the first of the week, I know she is ready to. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers please.


ADOPTION:
Today is one of those days where I was ready for a baby yesterday! On days like this, it's all I can think about. I get so excited about all the possibilites out there. I get excited about not having any idea what our baby will look like or who the amazing people are that will choose us to parent it.
We asked for baby stuff for Chirstmas and our parents were amazing and got us our crib bedding and a glider to help us get started. I am excited to begin decorating the nursery soon and to take my time doing so. I debated on if I wanted to wait to see what gender we will have or to choose gender neutral. I started looking at gender neutral stuff and found one I loved, so that made my decision easy (picture below). And besides I can spend months during our wait entertaining myself by decorating a nursery. I plan on trying to paint a mural... no I'm not crafty but I want to try and see how it goes.
I worry about the downs we will face along our journey. I worry about the failed placements and heart breaks we will experience, but I know that those situations are just not "our" baby, and we only want "our" baby not someone elses.  I worry about how we will handle the wait. I think I will be able handle it really well but then I'm sure I will start struggling at some point and have my days of being impatient.

sorry the pics are real blurry!!!

Home study

Got an email from the paper natzi... She said congrats we are ready to move on and start our homestudy. She said she will assign an adoption counselor and they will contact us in the next few days about when that will be. We have already been told they are in the process of hiring new social workers to complete the home studys so it maybe a couple of weeks before we can begin. But I am excited to be moving forward.
The home study is a series of four visits/interviews that take 4-6wks. We will have a couples interview, individual interviews, a home visit and a service plan meeting (which is where we discuss what kind of baby is for us). After all of that, the social worker will write a super long report about us, and that will determine if we will be approved or not. Hoping we pass this and will become waiting in March or April. We will also have to make a profile of ourselves for the birth parents to look through, this is how they pick the family that will parent their child.

update on Mamaw

Mamaw is still in the hospital. She had her exploratory surgery last Thursday which confirmed cancer. We are still unsure of where it originated. We got the pathology report back and it still isn't positive of the origin. Her doctor believes it to be ovarian. She has not been able to eat anything yet, and they are planning on placing a PICC line tom. for TPN. We are all scared she is not going to be able to make it home for Christmas. I really hope that she does.

Thank you to all of you that are praying for her and our family. It is very much appreciated.

Prayers

Please pray for my grandmother and my family today as she goes through her surgery to see what we are fighting. For those of u that don't know we are pretty positive it is cancer this is to see what type. This is going to be a very hard day for our family and she will need all the prayers we can get. I will try to keep u updated. We are all nervous and plain scared to see what the results of today are.

Yay for today

Today is a happy day, because we walked into our agency's office and turned in all of our paperwork! It's a big accomplishment haha. We officially finished every last requirement and form yesterday. So excited to being one step closer. Hopefully we will start our homestudy in the next few weeks.
Here is a couple of pictures of us with our very large envelope on the way to turn in it.