a different kind of prayer

as a child we are taught how to pray.. you start with Dear God you end with In Jesus name,  Amen. you say things like.." God is great God is good let us thank Him for our Food."
or sing-"God of father, God our Father, once again, once again, we bow our heads and thank you, we bow our heads and thank you, Jesus name amen,  Jesus name amen."
 when you get a little older you are taught to thank Him for your blessings, pray for the sick, pray for the poor and those in need.  i quickly took what i was taught and did my best to pray how i thought i was suppose to. with the recent problems and struggles in my life, i have definitely thrown out those teachings. i developed a different kind of prayer. i dont talk to God as much as i should. i don't say all the right things.  i say what i'm thinking like i would to any friend, or anyone close to me. He knows what i'm thinking anyways why not say it. i'm suppose to have a close relationship with Him so i feel like i should be able to talk to him from my heart. i have told Him several times i'm mad at Him. i've told Him He is not being fair. how could He give me such a strong desire to the point it feels like a need and not fulfill it. let me say i know this is probably going to come off as harsh, ungrateful and disrespectful.and by saying this i dont mean to offend anyone. everyones relationship with God should be there own, and you should pray the way you feel is right. but for me right now, this is the only type of prayer i can manage.


How ironic that Sunday night at church the preacher talked about prayer. I had already started this blog and then that is what the sermon happened to be about. The preacher's 1st point was God hears our prayer,  I believe this and never thought otherwise. The 2nd point was God delivers us which I also believe, I think that is where my anger comes from. The fact that I know He could help is what makes me frustrated.  One scripture that stuck out to me during the lesson...


Romans 8:25-27 But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.