break time

it is  definitely  time for a break. it is much needed, and very relaxing. It's nice not to constantly be aware of what cycle day I'm on, when i may ovulate and am i working those days, is j working those days, do i need to sacrifice sleep just to maybe have a chance at having a baby, when can i take a test, could this month be be month, when would i be due, how old would i be when i have it.... for the time being, im just trying not to think about any of it, as of right now i am over the fact that i'm getting older everyday and still dont have a kid. I am one of those girls that has a ticking clock but it seems like ive figured out how to put the clock on hold for a little while, but im sure that clock will restart before i want it to. As for right now im am enjoying the relaxing break and focusing on the small things that make me happy. who knows how long i will be able to not pay attention to all the details of trying but i hope it will last for awhile because it feels great.

Who am I?

Acknowledging, understanding and accepting yourself is one of the hardest parts of life. Do you know how many times I ask myself "how do u feel about this?, why are you reacting this way?" Sometimes I have to step back and remind myself to ask these questions. I find myself feeling emotions and reacting in ways, even I don't understand. And just when I think I have myself figured out I change. What brought this post on? I was driving to work and realized my mascara was getting in my eye. Then I thought "When did I become a make up person?" I use to never wear make up to work, and  now I do almost all the time. Who knows why that changed. HA profound revelation I know but made me think about everything about me that has changed, and why. Why have I become the way I am, Why do I react to people differently than  I use to. Who am I now? and when did I become this me? The me that wears makeup, writes in a blog and works in a job I never thought I would.