what to say, what to say

I feel when poor innocent people ask me a simple question, such as "do you want kids?" They open a whole can of worms and a long conversation they didn't know they were in for. I'm very honest and mostly completely open about my situation and if people ask, I answer. So this is for anyone who has ever asked me, or someone else in a similar situation and found themselves lost as to what to say.
I don't expect you to say anything. I definitely don't expect you to know what to say, and that is perfectly ok. If you don't know what to say, don't just say the first thing you think, silence is not the enemy here. Let me say that all of these things have not been said to me but I have visited this issue often and feel it is an issue for many women going through infertility or miscarriage, and this is the advice I do give....
1)don't try to justify it or downplay it.
Examples: you are still young, you have plenty of time, at least you don't have any trouble getting pregnant, enjoy your time without children, once you have children you are trapped, you can go out or go on vacation whenever you want, etc.
2) don't deny it was a baby= no matter how long someone was pregnant it was there baby, even if they only knew about it for a day or a few hours
3) don't say the reasons you have made up for the situation....
Examples: it's just not your time, now you have time to do _____,

Some of these suggestions may not make any sense to you, but when the only thing you want, dream of and desire for is to have a child, no justification or positive spin on the situation is comforting, and can feel like your dream is being pushed aside, or not taken seriously.

so what to say.....
Say something simple and from the heart: "I'm sorry you are going through this." " I'm sorry you are in this situation. "
And if you are brave you can say.. "If you ever want to talk about it I'm here"... but know if you can handle what's coming if they choose to talk to you, emotions will be strong.